A couple of posts back I wrote about my “possibilities list”. One of the items on my list is love. Just love. Upon further reflection, I realize I do have love in my life. I love my son and he loves me. I love my family and friends and they love me. So love has been crossed of my list and fall in love has taken its place.
I know there are worse things in life than being single but some days those “worse things” are hard to find. Some days the empty half of the bed feels like an ocean of unrumpled sheets and I wonder if it is time to rotate the mattress to make sure it wears evenly. Some days I want to celebrate the little wins in life with someone special and the teenager and dog just don’t cut it. And some days I just want to remember what it feels like to be in love and loved in return. Lately the some days have turned into every day and I have been giving a lot of thought to putting myself out there. By out there I mean online.
I have had some experience with online dating before. None of them have turned out well. The last one was the GPS guy who decided that since he was down in my area he should take the time to find GeoCache’s for his little GeoCaching contest. Yes, we went GeoCaching on our date. This may appeal to some, but not necessarily my cup of tea. I don’t understand the appeal of looking for a box of someone else’s junk or relying solely on the directions given by a little computer on the dashboard.
“Turn left now” says the annoying voice coming from the dashboard.
“Uh really?” I ask, “There is no left!”
“Yes there is. Just wait. My know-it-all computer says so and she has never led me astray,” he says.
“Dude. There is no left. But don’t mind me I just LIVE in this town.”
I have to say that my off line experiences haven’t been that wonderful either. There’s the guy who decided he wanted to be with someone else but didn’t want to tell me. Then there’s the alcoholic who thinks that wanting a divorce and being divorced are the same thing. I saw him recently with the wife and baby – not really looking divorced. Then there’s the workaholic I’ve known for ten years and have gone on slightly more than ten dates with during that time span. In my opinion he would be a great catch but I have a feeling he will let himself be caught by someone else.
Bad experiences aside, I honestly don’t feel as though I am going to find my special person online. Maybe the feeling is caused by my reluctance to dive in or someone is trying to tell me something. If it is the latter then I wish it would speak up and tell me where this special person is or maybe even give me a time line.
I know people who have met their special person online and are very happy. The truth is I am a romantic who would like to meet someone in a more traditional way. If a more traditional way even exists any more. I know Mr. Right isn’t going to knock on my door one day and say, “Here I am!” But maybe he will be at the grocery store one day or the service station. Or maybe he is a friend of a friend. Or someone I used to know.
I’ll be giving it some more thought. In the mean time, I am trying to believe that by changing the “possibilities list” and actively taking steps to meet someone, I am set the wheels in motion and there will come a time when I won’t have to worry about making sure the mattress has an even wear pattern.