Thursday, April 26, 2012

A Strong Wind

It's a tad windy tonight.  As I have been sitting here, trying to catch up on blog land a strong gust blew something somewhere creating a house rattling thud. 

I called on the man of the house to check things out.  One of the pleasures of having a teenage boy around.  It was nothing in my small yard so I am assuming it was the neighbors.  I will rest easy.

Speaking of neighbors - I live in a townhouse nestled snugly between two others.  I had a thought the other night that just on the other side of my walls live two families that I do not know.  Two families with their own struggles, drama, joys, and hardships.  I been hearing an infant cry occasionally, when I have been in the downstairs bathroom. (For some reason that is the only room where I hear anything happening next door.) Today, the family was outside and I realized they had a baby sometime in the past month or so.  I have lived her for 5 months and never noticed she was pregnant though I see her everyday when the bus drops off her son. 

I try not to feel guilty for being less than neighborly.  Perhaps I should make an effort to get to know them.  First I need to get past them using the guest parking spot in front of my house as a personal space for their 3rd car. 

Something just slammed outside again.  I am going to assume it was a neighbors back door.  I will ignore it just like I ignore so many other sounds.  Instead I will listen to the wind through my open window and tap tap tap of the rain that has just started to fall. 

Monday, April 23, 2012

A Great Day and Clean Sheets

Yesterday was one of those rare days where everything works out better than expected.  It was even better because I was two steps away from giving up on someone and he almost redeemed himself.

Saturday evening when making conversation with my male friend about his plans for the evening which seemed to include me but only after taking care of a few other things, he stated: "There is not a ring on my finger."

Excuse me!  I value my own independence to feel as though I am encroaching upon someone else's.  He may have thought of it as a joke, I took it as him reminding me of my place in our relationship. 

Madder than an 'ole wet hen.  I hung up shortly after, took a shower, and cleaned the house.  Completely expecting the jack-wagon to not show up.  After all I didn't think I gave any indication that he was still welcome by my very cold goodbye. 

He showed up with a grin on his face as though the world was right as rain.  We went to my sister's house with very little conversation between us.  I then basically ignored him until I was ready to go home.  At the house, he asked why I was so quiet.  Because of his "ring on my finger" comment I decided it wouldn't matter what I had to say, so I chose to say nothing.  I got out of the car without accepting the usual hug and kiss, went to bed, and tried not to cry myself to sleep thinking that I shouldn't see him again.

I can rarely stick to something like that and after lying in bed for an hour yesterday morning debating the issue in my head,  I sent the man a text asking if he would like to do something.  He immediately called back and we decided on breakfast and then we would see after that but I should bring my guns and fishing gear.

My son and I met him at the IHOP for breakfast.  Afterwards, Austin took the car home to enjoy a parent free day, and my friend and I hit the road.

We ventured to Cabela's then down to Utah Lake for a few hours of fishing.  He caught a dozen or so White Bass to my measly two.  All released or given to the Hispanic families that were fishing near us.

Afterwards we went to McDonald's for a quick lunch and then up the canyon for a few hours of shooting.  The shooting was followed by a drive through the canyon and another where the people have ginormous houses and more money than sense.  Who needs a zillion square feet and an entire mountain side for one person?  Anyway, we found a trail and went for a hike, enjoying the wildlife and sunset. 

Neither of us brought up the night before.  We are great at avoidance.  Not entirely healthy but in a weird way it works. 

The only thing missing from the day was clean sheets.  After a day like yesterday, the best ending would have been to slip my tired, freshly showered, and sunburned body between fresh, clean sheets.  To make up for it, I changed them this morning.

I hear the sheets calling me now.

Good night!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Back In The Real World

I left the worries of the real world behind at approximately 3:30 last Friday afternoon.  I met my friend at his work and we headed to Moab, pulling a fifth-wheel and trailer loaded with 4-wheelers.  We were greeted by friends, cold beverages, and a roaring camp fire when we finally pulled into camp.  I watched as the men helped get the fifth-wheel situated, and then I went to bed.  I was a wee bit tired. 

Saturday was beautiful weather, though the breeze made it a little chilly.  We did NOTHING all day.  My friend was a little tired from a long week at work and I was more than willing to do nothing. 

After breakfast and an Easter Egg hunt for the kiddos, everyone but the two of us packed up and headed home.  I packed a few sandwiches and some water into the four-wheelers and my friend and I went for a nice ride.  We found this beautiful canyon where we sat and ate our lunch.

After lunch we headed to a place called "Area BFE" where a rock crawling competition was held the day before.  There were a few people out there in their supped up jeeps climbing the hills and rocks, so we sat and watched for awhile. 

Not the best picture but below the power lines there were a couple of jeeps crawling up the rocks.
 Monday morning we cleaned up, hooked up the fifth-wheel and four-wheeler trailer and had everything ready to go before we went for another ride.  We didn't have much time as the real world was screeching towards us but we took an hour to enjoy the scenery.

After 3 nights of perfect sleep and 2 1/2 worry free days, I was back in the real world at 3:30 on Monday afternoon. 

Friday, April 6, 2012

Growing Pains

Lately my son and I seem to be butting heads on a daily basis.  I know a lot of it stems from his becoming a man and mom still wanting to be a mommy.  It is hard to cut the apron strings especially when no one else is tied to them.

This evening my son came up to me in the kitchen looking very serious and said he had a few things he wanted to talk to me about.   I was a little concerned.

He went on to tell me that in his Adult Roles and Responsibilities class they were discussing communication and he felt that he and I needed to "communicate" about a few things. 

Very calmly, he asked that I not interrupt him while he told me about his concerns about our relationship. Primarily the way  I "mother" him to death.  At least that was my interpretation, not his actual words. 

I was a little stunned.  A little offended. A little proud that he took the initiative to tell me what he was feeling.  When I could speak again, I came back with what I think were some pretty sound responses.

After addressing his concerns, I went on to tell him about a few things that are bothering me.  Basically his lack of initiative in looking for a job and a few other activities involving school.  When I mention he put in an application somewhere it is like WW3 is about to erupt in the living room. 

I am not sure he liked what I had to say but if he wanted us to be honest with each other, I was going to be honest.

And honestly the whole thing has me questioning my parenting skills or lack thereof. Whether or not I do more harm than good.  It is all so confusing.  I know there are no perfect parents, just parents trying to raise their kids the best they can. 

I know my apron stings are a little tight and I need to loosen them up, after all he will be 18 in September -  I think my heart skipped a few beats at the reminder.  Any suggestions on letting go and dealing with growing pains?

BTW - apparently he is planning on having a similar chat with his father.  Quite frankly, I am a little concerned about the fall out. 

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Blog Block

I have a huge blog block in my head that has kept me from blogging lately.  I have thoughts that I want to blog about but when I get around to writing them down the words don't come.   Not to worry though, there have been no significant events I have failed to mention.  A little of the same old stuff and a few days of fightng with Comcast.  I miss my old local cable and internet provider. 

I did get a haircut.  I was tired of the old style and needed something a little different.  It feels and looks so much better.

I am looking forward to a small vacation next weekend.  My friend  has invited me to go camping in Moab.  I have never been there before and am looking forward to a few care free days.  The only thing I really need to worry about is what to pack.  My son had already planned to spend Easter at his Dad's house.  And though Easter falls on my Mom's birthday this year, she has told me to go and have fun.  Later this week, I will take her birthday present to her.  I just finished it this morning and can hardly wait to give it to her.  I think I need to make one for myself.

This bag was made using the pattern written and provided by
Have a great week.