Thursday, October 28, 2010


My son is at his first Sadie Hawkins dance tonight. As he was getting ready, I asked him what the “rules” are. Lucky for him, he gave all of the right answers for what I expect for this type of date– ladies first, opening doors, compliment the girl, thank her, etc.

For some people the dating rulebook would be about physical contact- what and where not to touch. In my house those are the dating morals. The dating rules are different. The dating rules are about dating etiquette. I want my son to know how to properly treat a girl. I want him to be the boy that a girl goes out with and is impressed. Not by what restaurant he takes her to or what activity he has planned but by his behavior.

Are you wondering what the rules are? Here you go:

Mom’s Dating Rules (as they have been expressed to my son)

1- If a girl asks you to a girl’s choice dance –say yes. Unless you are dating someone else or have a conflict and can’t go to the dance. I don’t care if she is the bearded lady, has a mole on her cheek the size of the Titanic, and is Quasimodo’s sister. It takes a lot of courage for a teenage girl to ask a boy out. You never know, it may be the best date you ever go on. (This rule wasn’t an issue for him tonight. They have been friends for a long time.)

2- Don’t ask a girl on a date if you can’t drive yourself. The only exception is a double or group date and another guy is driving. (I brought this up when we were talking about the Homecoming dance a couple of months ago. I told him he couldn’t ask someone to the dance. Austin doesn’t have his license yet and I am not about to drive him and his date around. Beside’s if he is trying to impress a girl, having his mom chauffer you around is lame.)

3- Plan the date in advance. Don’t get there and get into the “What do you want to do?” conversation. BUT give her an option. For example: Los Hermanos or Chili’s, romantic comedy or horror flick.

4- When you are picking the girl up for your date:
  •  Do not honk and wait for her to come out. Walk up and knock on the door like a real man.
  • If her parents are there, introduce yourself. Let them know what your plans are and ask what time they would like their daughter home.
5- On your first date give her a simple bouquet of flowers. Nothing fancy or expensive. Friendly flowers.

6- Compliment the girl. She probably took some time to make sure she looks good. Acknowledge it.

7- Be a gentleman.

8- Get her home on time (a little early would be better)! If you run into traffic or something out of your control that will make her late, make sure she calls her parents to let them know she will be late and why.

9- Walk her to her door to make sure she gets inside safely.

10- Remember you are responsible for this girl while she is with you.

That’s it folks. They may seem a bit old-fashioned but I don’t care. Taking time to give a girl an enjoyable evening and treating her with respect should never be considered old-fashioned.

What do you think?


just call me jo said...

Ah, innocence and obedience to rules. I love it! (Can barely remember when, but I do love it.) If more parents had this list, what a lovely world it would be. Hope he has fun, too.

M-Cat said...

We had every single one of those rules too (except the flowers) and my boys were great about it except for my middle one who said no to a girls choice. *gasp* the ladies in the ward said he would be BRANDED and never asked again. Turns out that wasn't true, but he looks back now and feels bad that he told the girl no.

Cynthia said...

I'm sure he'll be the perfect date. Good rules!

PS- I was hoping this post was about YOU going out on a hot date!

Megan said...

Man, that Austin is one awesome kid. You're raising an amazing guy! The girls he goes out with are lucky to have a kid so well trained in how to treat them. If I ever have a son, that's one of my priorities--teach him to be a gentleman.

Amy said...

Cindy - A hot date? ME? Never. But I will be sure to let you know if that happens.

M_cat - The flowers rule is kind of optional...more for a second or third date. :)