Saturday, April 10, 2010

To speak or not to speak...

Question: If you found out someone said something about you that made you sound like  person of low moral character, would you confront them or let it go?

A couple of weeks ago I found out that someone I know said something like this about me.  I have tried to let it go, but it is festering.  On one hand, I want to confront the person and tell him that he was out of line. On the other hand, I don't want to make it a bigger deal than it already is.  Fortunately, many of the people  who heard what he said have taken it as a bit of a joke and know me well enough not to take him too seriously.  BUT, like I said, it is festering in my head and I am not sure what to do. My friend  suggested I pack a bar of soap in my purse and stuff it in his mouth the next time I see him.  I think it would be much more satisfying to just slap the jerk.  So far my tactic has been to ignore him.  I have only seen him once since I found out so it hasn't been too difficult.

What would you do?


6 comments:

just call me jo said...

First of all, I always do the wrong thing. So take that into consideration. I have never been subtle in my life. So I'd probably confront the jerk and then regret it later.
But the wise thing is probably to ignore the creep and consider the source. If your friends know it's not true, then try not to let it fester. He's a sad, sorry person and you shouldn't waste time worrying about him. (Note: I know that's harder said than done.)

Pam said...

I think it is probably better to ignore the jerk. That way you have taken the high road and he comes off looking even worse. : )
Your friends no it is not true and will think he is a loser.
I know this is easier said than done of course.

Katie said...

Oooh....tough one. I hate situations like that. I tend to be a big talker, but when it comes down to it, I would probably ignore him and just complain to my husband or good friends. Or on my facebook status updates. :) Good luck!

linda said...

The older I get, the more I'm trying to learn to just let things go. It's hard, hard, hard but I'd probably let it go. Sometime later down the line, you might have the opportunity to talk with this person about it and hopefully the anger will be gone. One way or another, I hope it resolves itself for you soon.

Cynthia said...

When Greg and I were first married we went through some stress/anxiety management training because of his panic/anxiety disorder. One of the KEY things were learned is that, whenever possible, we let things go.

However, when the issue continues to bother us and cannot be 'let go' without discussing it, then we must 'express ourselves in a cultured manner'. You need to address it because YOU are worth it. Just be blunt about it. "It has reached me from several sources that you said x,y,z- is this true?" Handle it there based on his response. MOST people will be embarrassed to be called on the carpet. You need to do it not because others may believe him or because he'll change but so that YOU will know you stood up for yourself. Walk tall girl!

Swede_Lady said...

I already told you my thoughts, but I have a feeling you're going to burst if you don't say something to this person. So, maybe either say something to this person now or learn to let it go. :D