Worm Boy

The year was 2001, I had ventured into the world of online dating with little to no success. A man started e-mailing me through the dating site. He lived in Colorado and claimed to be a ski instructor. I was slightly interested. There wasn’t a picture with his profile on the dating site. I didn’t think it would matter, after all the possibility of meeting this man in real life was slim to none.

In the real world, my friend Shae and I decided on a whim to drive from Utah to Dallas, Texas to visit a friend. Our drive would take us through Colorado Springs. She had met someone on the dating site who lived in there and wanted to meet him. I decided to take the opportunity to meet my ski instructor friend.

Shae’s date showed up first. He was a nice looking man. Friendly. Polite. They seemed to hit it off well. Then my date showed up. He drove a beat up Suzuki something or other. He was quite a few inches shorter than I and his jeans were quite a few inches shorter than his legs. His large rimmed glasses rested on his apple like cheeks. To this day he is known as”the guy that looked like the worm coming out of the apple”. Shae, bless her heart, tried to hide her laughter, and was shaking her head “No”. I was mortified.

We walked into Applebee’s - a fitting place for dinner with worm boy – and sat down for dinner. Around this point, I was rudely abandoned by Shae and her date. Left to deal with the dating disaster on my own, I somehow made it through a dinner of less than appetizing conversation with a less than pleasing view across the table.

I tried to be polite. It worked too well. He wanted to spend more time with me before I left in the morning. I lied. I told him I needed to meet Shae. That she would be worried about me. He left. I never spoke to him again. I don’t remember his name. He is “worm boy” or “the guy that looked like the worm coming out of the apple”. The only good thing to come out of the meeting was the laughter Shae and I still share when we remember that meeting.

Thankfully the rest of the Texas trip turned out much better than my meeting with “worm boy”. I stayed out of the online dating pool for awhile afterwards. Occasionally, I will dip my toes back into the water. In the pool, I have met “GPS man” and “boat boy”. They were both terrible dates that I may share at another time.

I am dipping my toes back into that pool again with a lot of reservations and doubt. IF I meet someone, I hope it is not another Worm Boy, GPS Man, or Boat Boy. I will let you know.