Stick a fork in me...

Image found at Google Images

I'm done. Well almost.  Pretty much EVERYTHING went into storage today except the curio cabinet and TV.  There just wasn't enough room left in the moving truck, my blazer, my sister's mini-van, and Mixer Man's truck.  Later this week when I go over to clean, I will haul those last items over. 

FYI, Mixer Man is the new name I've given to my friend John P.  Yeah.  Haven't blogged about him before or at least I don't think so.  He and I have been friends for about 3 years.  Yes, that is friends as in not really dating.  Not really doing much of anything.  But he tends to be around when I need him. Like when I need to move, when I need to play hookey from work for an hour or two and he happens to have the day off, when I need to go buy a gun, or when I absolutely NEED to go fishing. Yeah, he is good for those things.  He is one of those been married, bought the t-shirt, don't really want to go there again type of guys.  But oh well.  Friends are always nice to have.

I think I have a thing for bald guys.  Not the "Nature made me bald and I am fighting it so I'll just comb over or neatly style the remaining hair I have left" bald but the "Nature took some of my hair so let's shave the rest off " and the "I'd rather bic than style" bald.  Those last two show a level of confidence I find highly attractive.  Mixer Man is in that category and my other John - John B. - or Tri Guy is as well.

Tri-Guy and I have been friends for about 12 years.  I spent too many of those years thinking maybe he would think I was the right girl for him.  Now I know better and am really okay with it.  He bought the same t-shirt as Mixer Man, and is a confirmed bachelor.  No messy relationships to mess up his single, free-wheelin' mojo.  When our friendship first started, we were working together, so dating was a real no-no.  Since then, he has moved all over the continent and back.   He is a triathlete hence the name Tri-Guy.  Mixer Man runs a cement mixer.  See how creative I am.

Perhaps I should end this cycle of bald men named John. It hasn't really worked thus far. But again, having friends is nice.  Tri-guy is always good for dinner if he happens to be in town and our schedules mesh, which is usually about twice a year.  This pattern is so consistent, we have begun to call them our bi-annual meetings.  Mixer Man is around a lot more and is good for manual labor and outdoor activities.  I figure I probably won't have a long term relationship until after my son graduates high school, so friends are better anyway.

This post has kind of gotten away from me.  I am sure it is a direct result of how exhausted I am this evening.  Hope all of you have a great week.

The Sun is Finally Shining

I snagged this image from Google Images.

The sun was out today, both literally and figuratively.  It was a bright, sunny day outside after days of rainy weather.  My mood is also bright and sunny.  It is amazing what a good breakdown cry can do for ones mood.  In my case the breakdown crying lasted about two and a half days.  But I feel so much better.  Letting my feelings fester is never a good thing. It makes my moods worse and the happenings in my life seem monumentally overwhelming.

After the breakdown crying, I finished reading a book my cousin recommended.  It is called "The Gifts of Imperfection".  I will write a post about it another day.  But  finishing it made me realize I need to re-read the entire thing.  Life got in the way between the time I started and the time I finished so some of the guideposts have been forgotten.  It is a great book and I can think of a certain blogger friend who I would love to send a copy. 

Anyway, things are looking brighter.  I am getting settled into my Grandma's house and as soon as I get completely moved out of the other house things will be even better.  I look forward to planting flowers with her, spending some time relaxing in the deck, and getting to know her and possibly myself better.
 
I hope the sun continues to shine and my outlook can be just as sunny. 

Change

I am discovering that change and I do not get along very well.  I wish I were one of those people who embrace change and see it as an opportunity for growth.  I’m not or at least I rarely am.

When something changes at work, I roll with it.  I may not be 100% on board but oh well.  I make the best of it and get by.   But in my personal life I am less likely to do that.  I am not sure why.  Maybe it has to do with how much control I have over the change.  At work I have little control.  The bosses say there is going to be a change and it happens.  In my personal life, I am the majority stakeholder and therefore have say in almost all of the changes going  on around me.  So why is it so hard for me to get on board with changes that I play a vital role in instigating?

My move to my Grandma’s house, while it is a good thing for her and in the long run for me, is causing me a lot of anxiety and doubt that I am doing the right thing.   I am 98% sure my anxiety and doubt are just part of the whole moving process.  I really dislike moving.  And I am 98% sure that once I am fully moved out of my house and all of my belonging are safely tucked away in a secure and clean storage facility a lot of my worries will become tucked away as well.

My son  - bless his heart - is totally cool with everything.

 “Are you okay with moving to Grandma’s house?” I ask.

“Sure. Why not?  It’s not forever.” He says with a shrug and goes about his business.

Really?!?! How can he be so calm about moving? He is a teenager!!! Why is Mom such a basket case and the teenager is the rock?  Does this feel like an alternate universe to you as well?

Taking  a calming deep breath…

To be clear, I really do not have a problem with moving in with Grandma.  She shouldn’t be left alone for long periods of time and I am the logical person to stay with her for a few months.   I work from home so I will be here almost all the time.  My lease was about to expire.  It all fits.

I spoke with a friend today who told me my feelings about the move had more to do with losing my privacy than anything else.  In a way she makes sense.  I haven’t lived with anyone but my son in probably 10 years.  Except for the few months about 6 years ago while I was building a house. 

Having her say that puts it into perspective. And I realize it’s not just me giving up my privacy and space.  It is a big change for my Grandma also.   Since her mini-stroke in January, she has lost almost all of her privacy.  Someone is with her or around her almost all the time.  How hard would that be? 

I still dislike change.  I will still stress and be anxious and basket case for a week or so but I think I will be okay.  I just need to get moved.  Get into a routine.  Breath deeply. And all will be okay.  I think.

 

Sunday Snippits

Did you know that Memorial Day was originally called Decoration Day?  It began in May 1868 as a way to honor the nations Civil War dead.  On May 5, 1868, General John A. Logan "declared in General Order No. 11 that:

The 30th of May, 1868, is designated for the purpose of strewing with flowers, or otherwise decorating the graves of comrades who died in defense of their country during the late rebellion, and whose bodies now lie in almost every city, village, and hamlet churchyard in the land. In this observance no form of ceremony is prescribed, but posts and comrades will in their own way arrange such fitting services and testimonials of respect as circumstances may permit (http://www.history.com/topics/memorial-day-history)."

After World War I, observances were held to honor all those who died in all of the American Wars.  In 1971, Congress officially declared the last Monday in May as Memorial Day.  ~ All facts courtesy of the www.history.com~

My Grandma still calls it Decoration Day. 

*****

This past year my son took a Social Dance class where they learned how to waltz, tango, cha-cha, and such (I don't remember all of them). At the end of the year they performed the waltz and cha-cha at a dance performance that included all of the different dance classes.  The Social Dance class was huge and by far the best.  My videography skills need work but here is a snippet of one of the dances. 

 

*****
I am moving into my Grandmother's house temporarily.  I do not need to be out of my house until the 15th of June but we are here now - at least for the nights.  I will continue to go to the other house to pack and work.  My bed will go into storage and while I like the bed here, I could not sleep that first night.  Then I brought over my own pillows and have slept like a baby. Sometimes we just need something of our own.

My temporary bed. Neatly pulled down for a solo nights sleep.  The pillows in the blue cases are mine. The blankets on the other half of the bed will still be under the pillows in the morning.

*****
I need help.  My blog is dull, boring, bland, ick. I work from home so there is little to no social interaction.  My son would get a complex if I wrote about him all the time.  Any ideas on how to make my blog better? The suggestion box is open.

And it's Wednesday...again

Time is flying past and it seems like nothing that needs doing is getting done.  But then I review my mental to do list and find that while I feel like I am not doing anything, stuff is actually getting done.  I've rented a storage unit, packed some boxes, and I am sure there are other things but I am too tired to remember.

My son got his driver's license yesterday.  It was kind of a pain in the backside process, which it shouldn't have been, but now it is done.  Tonight I let him take the ol' blazer  to a school dance.  I debated all day about it but realized it was time.  Yet another step towards his becoming an adult.  I never have to teach another kid to drive or worry about them taking their first solo drive.  It is a good yet somewhat sad feeling. 

I had house guest's for the past week.  They went back home today which I am not sure is the best thing but it is what it is.  What I really missed while they were here were my daily naps.  I love a good mid-morning or afternoon power nap.  You know the kind where you lay down, close your eyes then wake up 30 minutes later feeling re-energized.  Anyway, while they were here there were no naps and I am really feeling it.

I would love to go to sleep now but I need to wait for the teenage driver to return safely.